Side (Character) Scrolling: L.O.G. (Lord of Games)

Gird your loins, my fellow geeks.

Today, I let the hate flow freely. Today, we talk about Lord of Games (L.O.G.) from Banjo-Kazooie Nuts & Bolts.

LOG pic 1

He is the source of all my vitriol in my Banjo-Kazooie article. If you haven’t read it yet, go ahead. I’ll simmer for a moment.

Character Background:

L.O.G. was born of a horrible decision by Rare, Ltd. He is nothing more than a company-insert character that exists for the sole purpose of taking the Banjo-Kazooie series and grinding it in one of those magic bullet juicers.

What is a company-insert character? It’s a character that appears and suddenly claims responsibility for all the games in the series through some wall breaking exposition. It serves no purpose other than to lord itself over the characters of said series and to be “unfathomable” and “godly.”

He is, in my own opinion, a worse character than Bella from Twilight.

Yes, it can be argued that L.O.G. isn’t the actual problem—that he is a fictional character and Rare, as a company, is responsible for all of it.

Banjo-Kazooie Pic 2

I maintain that he is the problem, given that he is a deliberate representation of every single problem I have with this game. He is basically Rare, giving itself a face within the Banjo-Kazooie world, and then making that character into God.

Why I hate L.O.G.:

He is supposed to be a fair and wise deity-of-sorts, but he is not.

He creates a heavily trivialized representation of the first two games, deliberately painting them in a negative light. He justifies this by claiming, “No no, it’s all too painful to watch. Gamers today don’t want all this, they just want to shoot things!”

And then he begins to label Banjo and Kazooie as failures because they haven’t sold nearly as much as Mario.

He, and Rare by extension, took the biggest crap all over Banjo-Kazooie and Tooie and tried to make me feel bad for liking those games.

I heartily disagree with the premise that sales figures are the only determining factor as to whether or not a game is good. If that was the case then games like Okami, Bayonetta, and Psychonauts would all be relegated to the trash. Games like this are heavily blanketed in nostalgia, and for Rare to make fun of this is to misunderstand gamers completely.

LOG pic 2After all that, Rare then proceeds to use him as a means for revamping the Banjo-Kazooie gameplay we’ve come to love and making it ENTIRELY vehicle-based—if they wanted to make a game with these elements, they could have just used Nuts and Bolts’ new gameplay elements in an entirely new IP. It just doesn’t work for Banjo-Kazooie.

Why he shouldn’t exist:

I feel like this point is already pretty obvious, but L.O.G. is a clear example of how little Rare understands both gamers as a whole and the fans of the first game.

L.O.G. (and by extension, Rare) belittles gamers and our love for Banjo-Kazooie. They shafted the original player base who loved Banjo-Kazooie in favor of appealing to some other imaginary audience of gamers.

In short, Rare and L.O.G. are one and the same. I’ve given up on them ever making a decent Banjo-Kazooie game again and have instead shifted all of my hopes and dreams into the upcoming Yooka-Laylee, which is scheduled for release around October this year.

And I honestly can’t wait to put Nuts & Bolts entirely behind me.

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